We Only Own Our Hell
by abloodysoccermum
Summary: Korra will get better. It just takes time. COVER IMAGE BY: vvivaa
1. Jinora

The first day was the worst. Jinora had been sitting in the dining room with Mako, Bolin, and Asami. Mako had been tugging at his sleeves while Bolin paced, much to his brother's annoyance. Asami had been twirling a piece of her dark hair between her fingers, and Jinora bit her nails. An air acolyte bustled into the room, causing all four to jump up hopefully.

"Jinora, your mother wants to see you." She panted.

Jinora nodded, and with a sad look at the others, followed the air acolyte towards Korra's room.

The avatar was lying on the bed, her skin covered in a sheen of sweat. Tears streaked her cheeks and Jinora's mother was rubbing her arm. Lin Beifong stood in the corner, chewing the inside of her cheek. Su stood next to Pema, her hand pressed against her mouth. Several air acolytes hover around nervously.

Her mother turned her head to the door, and gave a tired smile at the sight of Jinora.

"Jinora, come hold her hand, we have to extract the rest of the poison." She instructed. The young airbender hurried across the room and grabbed Korra's hand.

The first thing she noticed was how hot the avatar's flesh was. Despite the heat, Korra shivered. It broke Jinora's heart to see Korra like this. Su moved her hands above the shivering girl's body. Korra sat up straight and coughed up the remains of the poison. Su bent the poison into the wastebasket. She fell back, tears falling quicker.

"I know honey, I know." Pema whispered. "It's okay. It's going to be okay." She then turned to the other acolytes. "Go find the kids and Korra's friends. Tell them she's going to be okay."

Jinora began to stand up. "Jinora, honey, I need you to stay with Korra. I'm going to talk to your father and Korra's father." The young girl nodded quickly.

As Pema left, Jinora turned to the crying avatar. "It's going to be alright, Korra. I promise." But even as the words left her lips, she wasn't sure if they were true. Hot tears pooled in her eyes, and she tried to blink them back. Su wrung out her hands and her sister bit her lips.

Several tears leaked down Jinora's cheeks. She reached forward and wrapped her arms around Korra, burying her face into the older girl's shoulder. Korra tried to reciprocate, but her arms shook too much. She resorted to leaning her head into Jinora's shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Korra. But it's all going to be okay. It has to be okay."


	2. Mako

That night, Mako couldn't sleep. It seemed that every thime he closed his eyes, he saw Korra, lying sprawled on the dirt with her father holding her. He wished that he could have run to her. He wished that he could've held her close. He wished that he told her that he loved her before she left.

Mako flopped onto his side, closing his eyes again. Images of Korra in chains, screaming and crying in pain. His eyes shot open. He rubbed his golden eyes and listened to the soft snores of his brother. Pema had insisted that the brothers and Asami stay at the temple until Korra recovered. Despite there being plenty of bedrooms in the dormitory, Bolin and Mako decided to share a room, wanting to take comfort in each other's presense.

Trying to fall asleep was useless, so Mako decided to wander. He climbed out of his bed and tiptoed to the door, careful not to wake his brother. Mako didn't have to be cautious, his brother could sleep under the seats in a crowded arena and not stir, but he didn't want to take his chances. Once he had stepped out of the room, he lit a spark in his palm. The small fire cast long and eerie shadows on the paneled walls. Mako shivered and walked down the hallway. The main dormitory door slid open without a sound.

The night was chilly, and the sky was looked like velvet pinpricked with stars. The moon hung overhead, a bright halo of silver. The flame in Mako's hand flickered out. He cut across the yard, wincing as the cold grass tickled his feet and legs with dew. Mako finally reached the steps to the main living quarters. He climbed the steps two at a time and pushed open the main doors. These protested at the intrusion, squeaking as they were forced open.

Mako didn't use his bending for light this time, partly not to alert anyone of his presece, and partly because he knew the way by heart. He slid down hallways quiet as a mouse, and into Korra's room.

The room was lit by the silvery light of the moon. The placement of the furniture hadn't changed since the last time he had been in there, save for the wooden chair next to the bed. Mako stepped towards the bed. He flinched as the floorboards creaked under his weight. When he reached the bed, he stared down at the avatar.

Her hair was loose and slightly tangled, and Mako resisited the urge to run his fingers through it. Her eyes were closed, and her body was curled into a ball. Dried tears stuck to her cheeks. Biting his lip, Mako brought his fingers to her cheek. He gently brushed a strand out hair away from the skin, much like he did after Tarlock captured her. She leaned into his touch unconsiously. Mako gave a small smile.

A delicate cough startled the boy. He whirled around to see Pema standing in to door frame, a cup of tea in her hand.

"Oh, uh, Pema, hi, I was just...um..." He trailed off, and Pema's lips curled up slightly. She set the cup on the table by the door and then came to stand by Mako's side. He watched quietly as her hazel eyes washed over Korra.

"This is the longest she's been asleep all night." The woman said.

Mako looked over in suprise. "What do you mean?"

Pema gave a sigh. "Nightmares. She'd fall asleep, then only an hour later wake up screaming."

His eyes returned to Korra. Now, upon closer inspection, he saw faint shadows, the beginning of bags, under her closed cerulean eyes. He also noticed how her hands gripped the blanket she was wrapped up in, and how beads of sweat trickled down her forehead.

"You really love her, don't you?"

Mako stared at her, eyes wide. "Wha-"

"It's in your eyes. It's the same look I used to give Tenzin. I still do." Mako felt his lips twitch into a smile.

"I guess I do."


	3. Bolin

Bolin woke up the next morning in an empty room. He knew where Mako went. He was in Korra's room, sitting by her bed, and watching over her while she slept. Speaking of Korra, Bolin wanted to be with her as soon as he could. He dressed hurridly, and rushed to the main house. He found Pema and Tenzin in the dining room.

"Pema...Tenzin...can I go...see her?" Bolin panted. Pema gave him a sad smile.

"Just be very quiet. She's didn't sleep very well last night, and she might still be jumpy from the nightmares." Tenzin told him. The younger boy nodded and walked quickly down the hall to the avatar's bedroom.

The door was opened slightly when Bolin arrived. Mako and Asami were already there. Asami was sitting in a chair next to Korra's bed. She was watching the other girl with a look of sadness in her eyes. Mako knelt next to her, watching the tired girl as she slept.

"Hey. How is she?" Bolin whispered. The two jumped up, clearly startled at Bolin's intrusion.

"She's asleep, finally. But we don't how long she'll stay that way." Asami said.

"I stayed with her last night. She only slept for about twenty minutes at a time." Mako added, confirming Bolin's theory.

Bolin stepped forward to stand by Asami's chair. He studied the sleeping avatar. Her dark hair was tangled; sweat beaded her forehead. Her sleeping didn't seem to be peaceful, she was muttering in her sleep. Mako brushed a strand of hair from her cheek away from her sweaty skin.

"I'm worried about her. It isn't healthy to sleep that little." Asami whispered. Bolin put his hand on her shoulder.

"Korra's strong. She's going to get through this." Asami gave him a small smile.

The sleeping girl let out a scream then. All three jumped in suprise. Asami stood quickly, her chair clattered over. She pushed Mako out of the way and grabbed Korra's shoulder. She shook her shoulder, trying to wake her up. The door slammed open, and Pema and Tenzin came running in.

Pema gently pushed Bolin out of the way and stood next to Asami. They tried to shake the avatar awake. Tenzin straightened the chair.

"Korra, honey, it's a dream." Pema said, her voice soothing as tea.

"You're okay, Korra. It's just a dream, it's not real!" Asami voice shook. She was scared. Bolin was suprised; he had never seen Asami Sato afraid.

Finally, Korra awoke. Her skin was damp with sweat, and her crystal blue eyes darted in fear. Bolin nudged his brother out of the way, and Mako obliged. Korra's gaze caught Bolin's earthy green eyes. She reached out her hand, and Bolin tried to ignore the shaking of her fingers. Her hand found his, and Bolin realized what Mako must have felt all those years they spent on the streets. The feeling that he had to protect her, because he was like her brother. He gave her hand a small squeeze, and her lips formed a tiny smile.

Bolin knew that she was going to be okay. Korra was strong, she was the avatar. She was brave and she would find a way to get better.


	4. Asami

Asami hadn't been sleeping. She'd been worried sick about Korra, so she decided to put her restlessness to good use.

With a sigh, Asami ripped her most recent blueprint in two. Building an electronic wheelchair was one of the hardests projects she has ever taken on. She took a long drink of the heavily caffinated tea on her bedside table. Tenzin and Pema had insisted they stay at the air temple while Korra recovered, and she didn't have a space for her buisness's latest plans. So, her bed became the new Future Industries headquarters.

However, Asami had put all things Future Industries aside to build Korra an electronic wheelchair. She knew how badly the young avatar would hate the wheelchair she would be forced into. But this damn wheelchair project was much more diffucult the Asami anticipated.

The heiress groaned and buried her face in the papers spread across the bed. Her head had begun to pound. She hadn't slept in the three days Korra had been assigned bed rest. The purple-ish bags underneath her eyes had been covered with makeup, but Asami felt that everyone on the Island could see through the powder.

She needed some fresh air to get her mind back on track. Asami zipped her leather boots up her calves and slid the door open. She wasn't too concerned with being quiet, barely anyone occupied the female dormitories.

The sky outside was clear, and Asami could count the stars. She instantly felt comforted. When she was little, her mother would let her stay up late and the two of them would climb to the roof. Atop the monstrous Sato mansion, Asami and her mother would watch the stars. Her mother would teach her the constellations. The young Sato heiress could remember most of the long extravagant names.

Asami then heard a scream from the main house. She rushed into the building and down the halls to Korra's bedroom. The avatar was sitting up straight, panting and shaking. She looked at Asami in fear. Asami realized, with a pang in her heart, that Korra had opened her eyes, but was still in her night terror.

"Korra, it's me. Asami. We're friends, remember? I'm not going to hurt you, it's okay. You're having a nightmare and you need to wake up." Asami said as she slowly approached the bed. There was no change in Korra's expression.

"Please wake up. Korra, please, it's okay. You're okay." Nothing happened. Asami could feel tears gathering in her eyes. She didn't know what to do, and her best friend was having a horrible nightmare.

"Please, Korra! Please just wake up!" Asami cried. She blinked her eyes, and when she looked back, Korra was awake. She looked at Asami, tears pooling in her cerulean eyes.

Asami nearly threw herself forward, wrapping her arms around the shorter girl. "I'm so sorry, Korra." She whispered into the avatar's shoulder. Korra pressed her face into Asami's shoulder.

Asami sniffled. "You're going to get better, Korra."


	5. Senna

Senna got off the boat. The planks along the dock creaked as she walked toward the temple. At the end of the dock, Tonraq and Tenzin waited to greet her.

"Where is Korra? I need to see her now." She said in place of a greeting.

Tenzin cleared his throat. "Right this way."

Senna was lead down the paneled halls and Tonraq motioned to the door. He seemed to sense that his wife needed a minute alone with her daughter.

She walked into the room to see Korra and her pretty friend. The glamourous looking girl looked up. She walked over to Senna and gave a bow.

"You must be Senna. I'm Asami." Senna gave her a small smile, which Asami returned. "I-uh, I guess you want to be alone with Korra. I'll be outside if you need anything." She said politely with another bow.

Korra sat propped against pillows. Her clear cerulean eyes were downcast, and Senna felt a stinging pain in her chest. There were bags underneath her eyes. Tonraq had told her Korra hadn't been sleeping.

"Hi honey." Korra looked up. Tears welled in her eyes.

"Mom." Her voice was monotone. Senna could feel her heart breaking. She sat in the chair Asami had been occupying.

"How are you?" She asked.

"I'm fine." Senna knew her baby girl was anything but fine.

"I heard your friends were staying at the temple. Have they come to visit you?" Korra nodded.

"Have Tenzin's kids come to visit you?"

"Jinora has. Ikki and Meelo haven't been allowed. Pema's rules." Senna understood. The youngest airbenders were rambunctious, and though they would try to be quiet and calm, it was better to be safe.

"I've missed you. The South Pole has been so boring without you." The mother said with a smile.

"I've missed you too, Mom" Korra's voice was thick with tears. Senna pulled her daughter in for a hug.

"I know you've probably heard this a lot, but I'm sorry, honey."

"I don't want you to be sorry. I don't want anyone to be sorry. It's my fault that I'm like this. If I had just cut us off from the Spirit World, there would have been no new airbenders and Zaheer wouldn't have been able to break out of his prison." Korra snapped. A few tears sneaked down her cheeks, but the teen made no move to wipe them.

"Korra, this isn't your fault." Senna began delicatly, her own voice becoming clouded with emotion. "None of this is your fault. You brought back the airbenders. You saved their culture. It's not your fault Zaheer was one of the people who got airbending. You can't blame yourself for this, Korra. I won't let you."

Korra looked up at her mother. She let the tears freely drip down her cheeks. "Mom. I'm scared." She admitted.

"I know, honey. I am too. But I know that you'll get through this. You might need some help, and that's okay. But I know that somehow you will move past this and become a better version of yourself. I know you can do it." Senna pulled her daughter in for a hug.

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, Korra."


	6. Tenzin

Korra's health had improved since her mother arrived from the South Pole. She could hold conversations and made eye contact. She was still demure compared to her former self, but she was getting better.

The only thing that hasn't improved were the bags under her eyes. Tenzin knew she hadn't been sleeping; Pema and Senna had to take shifts to sit with her during the nights. Both women had been irritable from lack of sleep, but no one brought it up. Korra's mood would worsen from guilt.

Tenzin had offered to stay with rhe young avatar, giving Pema and Senna a night of rest. Senna had coaxed Korra to sleep before Tenzin arrived. She had slept soundly for about an hour before a nightmare happened. She awoke on her own, sitting up and panting and coughing. Her eyes grew damp.

"Are you okay, Korra?" Tenzin asked quietly. Korra jumped at the sound. Then her cheeks colored crimson. She turned away from Tenzin.

"Korra, there's nothing to be embarrassed about." He began gently. She shook her head.

"I need to be strong." Korra's voice was barely audible. "I don't want anyone seeing me cry." She looked at Tenzin. The purple shadows beneath her cyan eyes seemed darker.

"I'm going back to sleep." She muttered before Tenzin could speak. The avatar rolled over, her back to Tenzin. She winced in pain as she turned.

Tenzin sighed. He wanted to tell her that what she went through was traumatic and it was okay to cry, but she needed her sleep.

About three hours after her nightmare, the door creaked open. Senna walked in, holding a robe around her small frame.

"How many nightmares has she had?" The woman asked in a whisper.

"Just one."

"Really?" Her suprise was evident in her voice. "She must be improving. Maybe it's you." The older woman gave a smile. Tenzin smiled back sadly.

The pair sat in silence before Senna spoke again.

"She blames herself for this."

Tenzin looked at Senna. "How on earth could she blame herself for this?" He asked incredulously.

"She left the spirit portals open. And she thinks that if she didn't, Zaheer wouldn't have gotten airbending and broken out." Tenzin looked down. Everything the mother said was true, but nobody blamed Korra.

"But she brought back the air nation." He said.

"I know. She does so much good in the world, but she doesn't see it. She's too focused on what went wrong." Senna sighed. They fell back into silence.

"You should go to sleep. I'll stay up with her." Tenzin said.

Senna nodded. "Okay." She pressed a kiss to her daughter's forehead and left the room.

Tenzin looked at Korra. Everything Senna said was true. Korra had saved and improved the world too many times to count, but she only focused on the negatives. And because of that, her progress would crawl by. Korra needed to concentrate on the good things she did for the world.


	7. Mako (2)

"Tenzin said that you're well enough to go outside." Mako said as he entered Korra's room. She looked up from her hands.

"Really?" Her voice was soft, and Mako detected a glimmer of hope.

"Yeah. Asami's getting the wheelchair now." Korra's eyes hardened.

"I'm not going anywhere in that thing." She said.

"Korra, don't be stubborn. You're not well enough to walk by yourself yet."

"Then I'll sit in my room." She said, crossing her arms. Mako sighed. He knew Korra would be stubborn.

"Sitting in here won't help you either." He protested. Korra turned to look at the wall.

Mako sighed again. He left the room, pinching the bridge of his nose. Asami was coming down the hall, a smile curving her red lips. The wheelchair she pushed was the normal one; she hadn't made any progress with her electric chair.

The girl's smile dropped when she saw Mako's face. "What wrong?" She asked.

"Korra said she won't go anywhere in that." He explained. Asami looked down at the chair, then nodded.

"I knew she wouldn't. I'll go put this in a closet somewhere." She said, turning the bulky chair around. Asami gave him a soft smile. "But she does need to get out of that stuffy room."

"What do you propose I do?" Mako asked in annoyance.

"Carry her, of course." Asami said, pushing the wheelchair down the corridor.

"Carry her?"

"Good luck!" Mako could hear the laugh in her voice.

Mako reentered the room. "Korra, you can't sit in here anymore. You need a change in scenery." Korra blinked at him.

"I told you. I don't want to sit in that wheelchair."

"I know." Mako stepped up to her bed. He gently picked Korra up. She gasped in suprise.

"What are you doing?" She exclaimed.

"Carrying you."

Korra crossed her arms, but let Mako carry her outside.


	8. Jinora (2)

Jinora sat outside Korra's bedroom. She was peeking into the older girl's room through a hole pinpricked into the thick canvas fabric. She watched th through careful eyes the exchanges between Mako and Korra.

"Korra, it's okay to cry." Mako said softly.

Korra pulled her knees up to her chest. "No it isn't. I'm the avatar. I can't cry like a little girl." She protested.

"I know you're the avatar, but you're human too." Mako replied. He sat down next to Korra on the bed.

"You don't get it. Because I'm the avatar, I don't get to be human. I have to keep everyone else safe. I can't cry. I can't be weak." Korra said. Jinora could see tears dripping down her cheeks.

"I don't get what it's like to be the avatar, I know that. But I also know that you can't keep all your emotions bottled up inside. Because one day, there's going to be too much bottled up, and.." Mako trailed off. He took a deep breath. "What I'm trying to say is that you may be the avatar, but it's okay to be human." He leaned forward and pulled Korra in for a hug. She was suprised for a moment, but quickly reciprocated. Jinora smiled slightly. She could see the love in Mako's eyes even through a hole in the wall.

Jinora jumped to her feet when she saw Mako get up and approach the door. She panicked for a second, then rushed down the corridor and around the corner. Her dark eyes followed Mako as he walked down the hallway and out the door.

Once she was positive he was gone, Jinora went to Korra's bedroom. She pulled open the door, wincing as it creaked. Korra's eyes darted up. The cyan irises were hard with fear. The fear faded when she saw Jinora. There were still tears clinging to her cheeks. They glinted like crystals in the waning sunlight.

"Hi Korra." Jinora said, shy all of the sudden. She felt stupid for being bashful; Korra was like her older sister.

Korra smiled slightly. "Hi Jinora." Jinora sat down next to Korra. "Your mother told me you're going to get your tattoos."

"Yeah, next week."

"Are you excited?"

"Yes, but, I guess I'm nervous, too." Jinora felt timid again. But Korra grabbed the younger girl's hand.

"Don't be nervous. It's going to be great. I'm proud of you." Jinora smiled.

"I'm worried though. What will Kai think?" She asked, wringing her hands. Korra laughed. It was a weak, tiny sound. It sounded nothing like her old laugh, but she was laughing.

"Kai is the reason you're getting your tattoos. I'm sure he'll be proud." Jinora leaned into Korra's shoulder. The two girls sat together for hours talking.

"Korra?" Jinora asked. Korra turned her gaze to Jinora. "What do you think of Mako?"

"He's one of my best friends-"

"You know what I mean."

Tears began to gather in Korra's cyan eyes. She blinked, and the tears tangled in her thick lower lashes.

"No, no, don't cry..." Jinora began to panic. "I'm sorry, Korra, please don't cry."

Korra used the heel of her hands to wipe away the tears. "No, I'm okay..." Her voice became thick with tears.

"Forget I asked, just forget-"

"I still love him." Korra interupted. Jinora's doe eyes darted up.

"You do?"

"Yeah."

"Why are you crying then?" The pale girl asked, keeping her voice gentle.

"I'm sure he doesn't love me anymore." Korra told her, tears making her eyes glassy.

"Korra, that's not true. I've seen the way he looks and talks to you. He loves you, I'm positive."

"Really?"

"I wouldn't lie."


End file.
